Groundless Roots: a melting pot story

I've joined a women's photography group.  The focus is on using photography as an art form. Our first assignment was "Origin".  I thought I'd go with the melting pot theme. Groundless Roots refers to our all having roots, or ancestors, but in a melting pot society many of our cultural roots have washed away. We have no passed down traditions. Sometimes, without them we can feel lost or disconnected.  I had a friend who was Chinese.  One evening she decided to prepare chicken for dinner.  We were young, both just having our first place of our own. She pulled out a neat, compact looking little cleaver and with just a few practiced chops she had that chicken in five pieces.  She ruefully said, "All the women in my family cut up a chicken the same way.  Even the cleaver is Chinese".  It was the first time that I realized my family had no traditions. No one taught anyone else how to do something "the way we've always done it".  It was my first feeling of having no roots, no cultural identity.

My friend felt tradition was a trap, it was stuffy, it somehow lessened her feeling of independence.  I think it is like knowing the rules so you know how to break them.

In bocca al lupo.  m (no v)

Today 1/10/15

In bocca al lupo.  m (no v)

This Morning 11/27/14

In bocca al lupo.  m (no v)

This Morning 11/25/14

In bocca al lupo.  m (no v)

My Family and Home Life

I've spent a few days working on the upcoming My Dog Spot Photography web site.  I have such a headache!  I am amazed at all the new things I need to learn and even more amazed that I learn any of it.  What is the best of all that comes out of this is the amount of support I'm getting from my friends and associates.

So much has happened in my life since I decided on the title of this blog, or more to the point, the sub-title of this blog: a home and family life, and not necessarily blood ties.  It's good I added that.  At the time it was because v and I had such a small family: we were the two of us and r, his beautiful daughter, in Portland, Oregon.  Now it is just r and I and that extended family of non-blood ties.  Home life is me and my two cats and the succession of possums that come by in the evening for a small snack in reward for keeping the garden organic and snail free.

Home life is my circle of friends; a friend who would come by a few evenings a week to help break the new and crushing silence that had become so rare in this house since v moved in those years ago. With her help I've eased into the rhythm of my own movement and the sound of my thoughts.  It is my kind and thoughtful neighbor dropping by to see how I am and to share his own small business adventures and woes (please remember Fog's End Distillery's Monterey Rye and California Moonshine!). Another neighbor who has taken the time to attend to my apple trees. It is the daily emails with the reconnected life-long friend now in Georgia, the morning texts from my oldest friend still in Southern California, and the wonderful letters from a dear, dear friend in Pennsylvania who also lost her husband way too early--another gentle, loving, and passionate Italian... lucky us! My weekly connection to the aquarium and my new, but no less dear friends, who have become a part of that non-blood family. Home life is my two cats, one sweet and one crabby (there always has to be a balance).

And now home life is about re-inventing myself and trying to succeed with a new endeavor.  Fingers crossed!

In bocca al lupo.  m (no v)

Into the Unknown!

Big breath and deep sigh...I'm starting a small business: pet photography.  

I figured there are any number of wedding and portrait photographers around.  I have sent the card designs to the printer.  I have my contact info blurred because I haven't quite gone live just yet and most of you who drop in aren't exactly local, though if I'm ever heading back to Europe I will make an announcement.  (And for those of you in Russia, v would have loved practicing his language skills with you!)

Once I have the website up and running I'll publish the address.  I will keep this site in the loop as far as any successes I may have.  I am nail-bitingly nervous. v was the impresario and had all the courage and hutzpah.  He was a born salesman though his heart was in wood working and his vocation was teaching.

So, I'm soon to launch in a quiet, modest way.  Fingers crossed!

In bocca al lupo.  m (no v)

A Box Full of Love

v is home.  Five days in the hospital, no matter how great that hospital is, can take a toll on someone and v is no exception.  He's weak and sometimes breathless, but he is not beaten down.  He's getting a little stronger.  His most notable improvement occurred last night after a visit from our friend and shift captain from the Monterey Bay Aquarium.  She arrived with a beautiful box full of cards, gifts, hand made candies, a book and other tokens of love and encouragement including a beautifully "translated" message from the sea stars themselves, and with the gift of her time and company. I'm afraid my lens just can't contain it all in one shot. It's difficult for us to contain it all in our hearts!

 

In bocca al lupo.  m & v

The Audition

Auditions for table dressing.  A new project for v and me when he gets home, which may be today!!!  Timing will be delicate as there is a football game this afternoon that he really, really wants to see...and we don't have a TV!  He has loads of invitations.  He can view each quarter from a different recliner, armchair, or sofa if he wants.  Or, he might be able to wait 'til after the game to come home.  I think I know a place...

Thank goodness we discovered last year that the Superbowl is streamed live on the computer.  He can be bundled up with his treats and watch here while I can be elsewhere in the house (or garden if the weather holds) doing non-football stuff.  And he can wear his jammies if he wants.

You know, I want to clarify why this blog even exists: it was created at the suggestion of an old, old friend who found me after a fifteen year loss of contact.  So much had changed; her address, she moved to Georgia! me; my name and address, and she found me!  The internet happened while we were silent, email, and this blog stuff.  Trying to send photos to her was causing problems with the emails so she, a woman who never learned to drive, encouraged me to start a blog so I could load up (gee, I guess that would be upload!) photos of my life and share with her.  I just couldn't do Facebook, I'm not that into reconnections. So here we are.  I am fascinated that a woman who has never turned a steering wheel can negotiate, and guide me through, the technical confusion of computer communications.

It's turned out to be a great way to keep our friends at the aquarium updated on v's condition.  I have been so surprised to hear various of our shift mates say, "oh, I read that on your blog"! Well knock me down with a feather!  Welcome all of you who are reading this.  I miss you and I miss the aquarium, in that order.  I'm really hoping to be back soon.  And v wants to visit again also, even though he ended up in the hospital shortly after the last time, it really gives him such an energy boost.

Oh, and just because I love seeing photos from France (especially Paris) since I can't get there:
check out the Valerie Jardin link to the right. She just posted a number of beautiful scenes.

In bocca al lupo.  m & v

A Field Trip

Today was good.  Despite not feeling so hot, v agreed to go with me to the Monterey Bay Aquarium this afternoon to visit with our shift mates.  Tuesday 2nd: what a great group of people we found ourselves involved with when we started volunteering back in 2011.  We have received so much support through emails, cards, phone calls, and visits.  Thank you, all of you, for such caring and consideration.

We spent nearly two hours visiting friends and visiting favorite spots within the aquarium.  Just to let you know: the aquarium has wheelchairs to loan to folks like v who don't have the energy to walk throughout that big place.  The floors are concrete, really pretty but not the most comfortable for long periods of time. Another note: if you do borrow a wheelchair, you might want a cushion of some sort...

Update: the radiation continues. Four more scheduled treatments.  He's finally gained some weight, nearly two pounds.  That is thanks to a Peanut Butter Moo'd from Jamba Juice after each treatment, and the delicious gift from one of our shift mates who brought us a big pot of delicious, and rich, soup over the weekend and the recipe and fixings for zucchini pancakes!  Really good stuff!!! We also may be seeing some relief of his back pain, but oh the fatigue caused by the radiation! It was a true tour d'force for him today, but he did so well. The blessings of friendship.

In bocca al lupo.  m & v

Marmalade

Tonight we made marmalade.  Well, I did anyway. v kept me company sitting in the rocker in the corner of the kitchen. He and the cats listened to music and watched me stir, fill, and process.  It's so satisfying, you know?  Two years ago my "sewing day" friend and I took a marmalade workshop at Happy Girl Kitchen in Pacific Grove.  It was a fun class and we've been making marmalade, jam, jellies, and pickles ever since.  I love that little independent shop. It's very close to the Monterey Bay Aquarium.  Everything but our house is close to the aquarium!

The radiation is moving forward.  They informed us that they are radiating not only the tumor that is "eating" a piece of his spine, but that there is another, low down in his right lung that is "eating" (this is their word) into his chest wall. Well, gee, that didn't sound so good. They assured us that they are attacking the tumor in the lung also. A bone scan was done Thursday. You know, sometimes you just feel like you've been strapped to the healthcare conveyer belt.  We looked at each other when we got home and we both said "I don't want to know!"  Well, it was all right, because it came out negative. Ah! But still, it's almost a case of "so, anyway, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?"

And, I thank you, our friends who offer their kindnesses and support.  You all brighten our days and keep us above despair.

In bocca al lupo.  m & v

And Why Not?

Well, we didn't do a lot of decorating, but we did some and the place looks Christmas-y.  v has been up and down.  He was so happy to have his daughter here for the holiday, that was lovely.

It does seem that as we slay one dragon, another will rise up to take its place.  He's lost a dramatic amount of weight and has been complaining of the taste and texture of food.  He's been dealing with a sore throat for several weeks (he recently admitted). He was afraid that his throat cancer had come back.  We were so overjoyed to find that he had an infection (which could have been treated all along!).  Just as that was beginning to clear, and food was becoming enjoyable again, he now is suffering stomach pain from the antibiotic.  It's just a vicious cycle. We just move forward.

Every year, for the past several, we've been having a few friends over on New Year's Day to share black-eyed-peas and rice for a prosperous New Year.  We debated over having the gathering this year, but then we found ourselves mentioning it to one friend, and then suggesting another join us as well, and...well...It looks like a few people may indeed be coming by for that bowl of peas.  And why not?

In bocca al lupo.  m & v

Stre-e-e-e-etched

Sometimes it's just too much. Everything I have is just not enough.  What else can I say if I'm not heard anyway?

In bocca al lupo.  m & v

Nevada City Weekend

We've been on the road for nearly a week!  This has been business and pleasure with the lines blurring to the point of indistinguishability.  We started by visiting my oldest friend (as in longest duration) down in San Luis Obispo (some nice B&W shots on Biondography just click the highlighted word here).  After a lovely cool night in Morro Bay we turned inland and headed to Grass Valley/Nevada City for a concert of the Nevada City Concert Band.  They put on monthly pops concerts at Pioneer Park, click here for their website. Oh My Gosh! I'd forgotten what hot feels like!

v and I had the honor and pleasure of being invited to photograph last weekend's concert "California Dreamin'".  I used to listen to the Boston Pops concerts on A&E every 4th of July.  It was a "new" tradition of my father's and mine after he developed dementia. I have a friend who is actually visiting Tanglewood this week.  This band, the NCCB, is as much a pleasure to listen to as the Pops band in Boston, truly. Lucky people of Nevada County.

The rehearsal was creekside in Pioneer Park.  A great place to stand barefoot and try to keep cool!

Something else v and I are working on, and I've been hinting at, is greeting card design, or note cards if you will.  We are going to start peddling them soon.

These are a couple that we've had printed recently.  In keeping with our "local" philosophy we are happy to have a printer three blocks from our house who is willing to do small orders. If we can figure it out we will start having designs available for sale on line in the coming weeks and months.

In bocca al lupo.  m & v

(mystery night? m-e?)

It is Humbling

v and I volunteer at the Monterey Bay Aquarium.  The mission of the aquarium is to inspire conservation of the oceans.  Volunteers speak to thousands of people every week.  Over one million school children have visited the aquarium through school field trips at no cost to the schools or families.  We meet people from every continent and we see the impact that the aquarium has on these people.  

This afternoon at the Kelp Forest exhibit I met a man and his wife who are visiting from India.  At the end of our conversation about the variety of animals living within the kelp beds he looked up through the thirty foot high stands of kelp on display with the rock fish floating motionless amongst the leaves, the sharks swimming in and out, and the schools of anchovies and sardines flashing silver in the sunlight.  He looked back at me and said that there is so much life on this earth that we do not see.  "It is humbling", he said.  

I am embedding a link to a video from the Monterey Bay Aquarium Research Institute about 

Trash in the deep sea.  Small changes can make a big difference in the future of the oceans. One change that can start immediately is to reduce our use of single-use plastics.  Carry water in refillable bottles.  The aquarium has installed a bottle refilling station for people to replenish their water supply.  Ask your employers, schools, and shopping malls to install refill stations. Reduce the need to buy all those small, plastic bottles of water that take up so much room in your home. 

In bocca al lupo.  m & v

Sunday is...

Sunday is coffee, conversation, and knitting at the local coffee houses in Monterey with our friend.  Well, v doesn't knit, but he wears the sweaters I knit.

In bocca al lupo.  m & v

Marmalade and Mendocino

A marmalade morning here at our house.  While we were in Mendocino we walked through the old wooden framed screen door of the Mendocino Jams and Preserves Shop and found ourselves in what felt like a corner of a well stocked pantry and kitchen.  The shop is at the end of the walk so she has sunlight from sunrise to nearly setting and sea breezes from two directions.  Like many of the shops along Main Street, this was once a small house.  I asked the owner how long she's been in business here. 38 years. The house was converted to one large display and sales room in front and a smaller room in back for the canning.

Along our drive up the coast we saw much evidence of how badly these remote, secluded communities of this Northern California coast have fared in this depression we've been in since '08. We haven't ventured further north than San Francisco since before the crash, having our own economic downturn.  Although the news is full of recovery announcements, we didn't see much evidence of that in towns like Gualala and Point Arena, or even Bodega Bay.  They've changed and many of the businesses and places we'd patronized and stayed at have shuttered windows and doors. In some places it appears the entire population has recycled. Gone are the old hippies that used to hang out on the sidewalks and doorways looking colorful and slightly menacing. Small places like Olema and Point Arena don't seem quite as arrogant in their insularity.

Mendocino seems to be holding itself together.  The community has a history of banding together for the protection and preservation of the village.  Through their efforts back in the sixties and seventies the town, or village, of Mendocino was placed on the National Register of Historic Places in 1971.  In 1972 Proposition 20, the Coastal Zone Conservation Act was passed.  This act protected the coastal zone environment and maximized public access to the coast.  At the same time the State Department of Parks and Recreation acquired the land for the Mendocino Headlands State Park.  The town is also designated as a Historic Preservation District of Mendocino County.  The folks living in Mendocino have strict preservation rules, but they have a community that is sustaining. We talked with one resident who told us of some members of the community who wanted to put even tougher restrictions on life in town: they wanted to ban cell phones from within the town limits.  They're not banned, but we had a "no service" message on our phones the entire time we were there.  It was land lines if a call needed to be made.

I'm thinking of giving the Jam & Preserve shop a call to inquire on whether she's taking on apprentices.

In bocca al lupo.  m & v

Translate Button Added!

My morning this morning.  v is off on assignment and I crept back into bed, after he left, to savor my coffee and the early morning sunshine.

I have added a translate button to this blog.  I've also added one to the blog that is just for chronicling my  growth (hopefully) with photography: Biondography.  I notice that I have had visits from several other countries which I find really exciting and gratifying.  I want to make it easy to share our thoughts and experiences here.

As for v's cancer; we are in a sort of limbo.  We know from the CT scan results that the tumors remain present, but we don't know how active they may be.  His physical condition is so good that the doctors are offering alternatives for us.  He can take a break from treatment for the time being.  He can begin another round of chemotherapy with a new combination of drugs, one of which will cause hair loss.  He can, if authorized by his insurance, begin a maintenance regimen.  All with close monitoring and, all of the above will depend on the outcome of another PET scan.  The doctor's office is attempting to obtain authorization for that test.  As best I can explain: the PET scan will show metabolic activity of the tumors and let us have more information about what is actually happening.  As what most people who know what v is going through generally remark: he looks far too healthy to be dying.  He gains weight consistently, he has no difficulty eating or swallowing, his energy and activity level has improved, and he has little, or no, discomfort.

We have decided that, as much as possible, we aren't going to live under a cloud. 

Mostly this morning I just wanted to introduce our new "translate" button.  Now I hope to hear from some of those people in countries I have to find on a map when I see them listed as having visited.

In bocca al lupo.  m & v   

Return

Just a quick post today.  Yesterday we returned to the Monterey Bay Aquarium and our shift.  v was showered with welcoming love and applause.  Everyone was so glad to see him back and how well he is looking.

He is looking well.  We have decided to have another discussion with his doctor before proceeding.  We want to know what other options he has, not only for diagnosis, and treatment, but for interpretation of the CT and what other tests can be done to determine if the slight growth is within the margin of error for the reading (which it actually is being only a millimeter's growth), or if there is indeed any activity within the cancer itself, or are we looking at inactive tumors?

Enough of that!  We are so happy to be back on our shift!  Yesterday was an unusually busy Tuesday as many students have this whole week off for what is considered "Ski Week".  I had the best conversations over the low end of the Touch Pool with some very charming and inquisitive 3-year-olds. One little girl wanted to know if the Touch Pool made headaches.  My honest answer was: only occasionally.  Since no one attempted to remove any of the animals for closer exam, to scare a friend, or to taste there were no headaches yesterday.

In bocca al lupo.  m & v

A Change

Another update regarding v and the outcome of his most recent CT scan.

It wasn't what we'd hoped for.  Last time he showed a very dramatic improvement with the two largest tumors having reduced by over 50%.  This time both have shown a very small increase.  Very small...but increased never-the-less.  His chemotherapy medication and regimen are to be changed.  He was able to stop taking the pills that he has had to take twice a day for two weeks out of three. His infused medications will be altered.  Instead of once every three weeks he will go in once a week for three weeks with a one week break between cycles.  Of the side effects that can occur, one will be hair loss, so I will be knitting him some more caps.

We are very sad, at the moment, but we don't tend to stay down very long.  The doctor has released v to return to our Monterey Bay Aquarium volunteer shifts. We will be very happy to be back among the other volunteers, the endlessly fascinating visitors, and, of course, the marine animals.  We've been told there is now an additional Hammerhead Shark in the Open Sea as well as two Molas. We stopped in, briefly, yesterday just for the energy the place gives us.

As always we are amazed and grateful for the love and support offered by so many of our friends and acquaintances.  Without them we just couldn't make it through this, sometimes, overwhelming experience.

We love to receive comments and we know that we have readers in Europe, Scandinavia, Asia, and Russia. We would love to receive a hello.  v has lived in Germany and worked internationally as well as having been born in Italy.

In bocca al lupo.  m & v

It's Not What You Look At

For the eyes and the mind, while ours rest for now...

In bocca al lupo.  m & v